I know
by mltrefry
Summary: One-Shot, post "Satan's Pit". Rose can't help but compare their current conversation in her bed to the one she and the Doctor had in their borrowed room the night before. Both are intimate, hold half revealed truths, and lead to a silent understanding between them.


_For EmmaKathy, who requested a post_ Satan's Pit _One shot, and I was actually able to deliver._

* * *

They clung to each other in her bed, nearly exactly the same way they had the night before. Each laying on their sides, facing one another, able to look one another in the eye. Only this time it was different. The Doctor's eyes smiled along with the quirk of his mouth, far different than how this scenario started out the night before. He caressed her lightly, running his thumb along the part of her spine it could reach without moving his hand, and she played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. So different from the night before. And yet, in a lot of ways, still exactly the same.

~DWDWDW~

With the black hole looming outside, just over their heads, it was hard to relax. Didn't help that the TARDIS was so far away.

Rose and the Doctor held each other on the small bed in the tiny room they were assigned, heads resting on the same pillow as they remained silent for the most part. The tension was bad, and all she wanted was to fix it.

"You know," She said quietly. "Don't have to get a mortgage if you don't want to. Could just get a ship, fly about the Universe. Get back to the TARDIS eventually. Suppose it doesn't matter how you travel as long as you're moving."

"She's buried so far down, Rose. I can barely feel her. She's so much more than just a ship she … fills the space in my head that would be dormant without her. Once we move along, that's it. I may just go mad." He said, lost and sad, his eyes focused an a spot above her head. "Only one person has been inside my mind since the Time War ended, and she wasn't exactly welcomed."

"Casandra," Rose asked, though she was certain that's what he meant.

"No, not her. I mean, yes, she was in my head, but that's not who I meant." He said, face contorting along with the ramble, changing from disgust, to thoughtful.

"Who then?" She asked, and she watched his Adam's apple bob while he said nothing. His eyes focused intensely and unblinking over her, and she had her answer.

Shifting to get out of his hold, she was surprised to find him pulling her back, holding her tightly. "Don't leave me, too." He asked, his voice desperate as he finally met her eyes.

She shook her head, reaching up and stroking his face. "Never gonna leave you." She said with certainty.

"Good," He said, a tiny smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Need someone to share the mortgage with."

"That so?" She asked softly, smiling with her tongue sticking between her teeth.

"Oh yes," he said with confidence. "Course, psychic paper, no need for that rubbish. Though I do think you and I would do better with a ship. Same ol' life and all." He said, beaming manically now.

"What about the, umm, the uh …." She gestured to to his head, her smile dropping off a bit. "How will that work?"

The Doctor's grin faded from his mouth but not his eyes. He brushed her hair back from her face, even though it was no where near hiding her features, and rested his palm against her cheek. His fingers ghosted her temples, and she felt a very faint tingle, like the rush she'd get when he held her tight and there was no danger. She gasped, eyes widening a moment until she noted how his got a touch darker.

"I'm sure, in time, maybe, perhaps …." He leaned forward, her heart picking up speed as her breath hitched. "If a French courtesan can find her way into my mind, so can my best friend. I would trust no one more than you, Rose, with such an … intimate kind of need."

Her mouth went dry. "Intimate?"

"You do enter someone's mind," He said. "I didn't yours, that moment there, it was just a brush to see if …. That's to say I was sorta just reassuring myself that maybe, just maybe, with time and practice, you may be able to enter my mind once in a while, stave off the madness." He brushed at her hair reverently. "You've already done such a brilliant job. Not sure how I'd have gotten so far without you."

She didn't quite know what to say to that, so she ducked her head, hiding the blush.

"I want to say I'm sorry," He said very softly into her hair. "Earlier, I didn't react the best to the idea of you and I. I mean, well, that's not really what I mean. I just meant the sharing of the mortgage. I didn't mean that I wouldn't want to, with you. Because I do. Well, I don't. But I mean, if I had to, I suppose …."

"Better with two?" She saved him, looking at him through her lashes.

"So much better." He said on a breath, pulling her just a touch closer to him.

"Forgiven." She whispered, and the two stared one another down, both glancing at one another's lips.

"I'm going down in that pit tomorrow." He said quietly. "And if I don't come back."

"Not leaving without you."

"Please."

"Doctor."

"If I don't come back it means that somethings gone wrong, and I couldn't." He took a deep breath, "And I want you to know, Rose …."

"I know." She said, though she wasn't sure she did. Not entirely. Reinette happened not that long ago, and while he was showing her so much more affection since then, she wasn't sure it meant much. But it didn't matter. She didn't want to hear any sort of confession from him when they were facing the worst. If he felt the way she did, she wanted to know on proper terms. Be it on a spaceship the two would fly together, seeing the stars as only they could, or on the TARDIS should the best possible circumstances happen.

~DWDWDW~

It turned out that it was the best possible circumstances in the end, though it didn't look that way for a while. No sooner had the other ship disembarked that Rose felt the fatigue of the day wearing on her.

She'd looked up at the Doctor. "I'm going to lay down for a little while."

"Okay," he said, "let me get off the space suit and I'll join you." He had replied, and much to her satisfaction, he'd stuck to his word.

So there they were, in her bed, snuggled together on the TARDIS, same ol' life, but somehow shifted.

"Guess I don't need to learn how to get in that head of yours." She teased, because it was easy.

"Still could, if you wanted." He replied, though there was a waver in his voice. "Maybe," he swallowed, "Maybe in a year or two, let some time pass."

She knew what he was really worried about, but knew better than to bring it up. The beast, devil, whatever, had said she would die in battle so very soon. She could sense the Doctor, in that moment, was searching for something and was coming back empty. He had time sense, he told her once, and while she wasn't sure what the meant, exactly, she knew he could see time lines stretching out. Not hers, he'd said, but sometimes she had to wonder. He said the Beast lied, so she would trust this to be the truth, but even Rose had a tingle of concern that maybe it wasn't.

"Doctor," She said softly. "Promise me if something were … were to happen, that you would …."

"Nothing's going to happen." He said firmly, holding her just a bit tighter. "You aren't going anywhere Rose Tyler, be sure of that."

And she wanted to be, but with everything that happened, everything that still could happen, she had to say something. "Yeah, but, Doctor, if something were to happen. If I were to die in battle, I want you to know …."

"I know." He cut her off, and she felt a kiss in her hair before he tucked her head under his chin, cradling her like she was was precious.

Rose sighed with contentment. They didn't need to say those three words that were tossed around by her species like a common greeting. It ran deeper than that. He knew she loved him, how could he not after all this time? And she supposed, as fatigue became too much to hold back, a small part of her knew as well. He loved her too, at least in his own way.

* * *

 **A/N:** As always, thank you for reading.


End file.
